Podcast Episode 265 - Decoding the Puzzle of Human Motivation Part 6 – Does The Need For Growth Drive You?
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Do you love learning and growing?
Does it stress you out to be dependent on others?
Have you ever been so caught up in researching or studying that others felt you were ignoring or abandoning them?
Thanks for joining me for part 6 of decoding the puzzle of human emotions. We’re unpacking what makes us tick. What motivates us? We’ve broken down 4 out of the six human motivations or needs so far, and now it’s time for the motivation that can sculpt us into our best selves and propel us into our dreams.
Today is for you if…
If you’re tired of always saying someday, but someday never comes.
If you desire to continue your learning journey to uncover your best self.
If you’re ready to learn and use that learning to grow deeper connections with others.
The first four human needs we covered are like primal needs.
Certainty––need for stability around basic necessities
Uncertainty/Variety––need for change or stimulation
Significance––need to feel special or important
Love & Connection––need to feel deeply connected with others
The last two we’re going to talk about are spiritual needs. They help complete us as humans.
Now remember, we need all six needs/motivations, but…
Everyone meets these needs in different ways, and we don’t value all of them the same.
We tend to have two top needs.
The big thing we must remember is that we work to meet these needs in deathly ways.
Human Need #5…Growth
We’re either growing or dying.
It doesn’t matter how much money you have, accolades you receive or accomplishments you can check off your list. You won’t be fulfilled and happy unless you feel you’re growing.
Growth could be your top need if these beliefs hit home:
I need to develop new skills constantly.
I need to learn new things and improve what I already know.
I must develop myself physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.
I need to be constantly growing.
What the Need for Growth Looks Like:
You focus on learning, studying, developing your skills and being the best you can be.
You conserve my energy and focus away from feelings to learn everything there is to be learned.
You are self-contained and set careful limits to protect my time and privacy.
If your need to grow is tied to developing physically, I will do whatever is necessary to stay healthy and fit.
You’ll do anything to avoid feeling inadequate or drained.
You avoid demands and intrusions on privacy, allowing me to focus on your personal growth.
Strengths
You’re respectful of others.
You’re thoughtful, calm and dependable.
You like to think that you’re a model of self-improvement for others.
Communication Style
People might see you as distant because you like to focus on content and facts.
Words that you use frequently are: I, me, yourself, know, learn, grow, develop, understand, analyze, accomplish, and goals.
How Handle Stress
Stressed when I feel tired or
Stressed when you’re dependent on others.
Intrusions on you’re privacy are stressful to you.
Get Defensive When
Intrusions or limitations on what you want to do.
You can become angry when people interfere with your need for privacy.
How Emotions Show Up
You’re careful when expressing emotions, but you can have outbursts of temper when you feel intruded upon.
How This Beliefs Serves You
There is always a new challenge and something new to learn.
You’re not dependent on others to find joy in learning.
You’re self-sufficient and active in your pursuits.
You’re not attached to material possessions.
It’s not about what you have; it’s about what you know and can do.
The Principles You Lost Sight Of
Connecting and giving to others can be more fulfilling than acquiring new knowledge and skills.
There can be more pleasure in sharing than in accumulating.
The Consequences of Losing Sight Of This Principle
You can be seen as reserved and unwilling to share.
You can become detached and overly private.
You tend to undervalue relationships.
Growth Tactics If You Need for Growth Is Holding You Back:
Goals for Growth:
Pursue growth while enjoying relationships and connection with people.
Experience joy and pleasure in many ways, not just by learning.
What Can You Do to Achieve Your Goal?
Find balance by focusing more on others than your growth and development.
Experience pleasure in giving.
Be less reserved.
Give priority to love and relationships.
Take better care of those I love.
What Interferes With Your Goal?
The belief that you’re not worthy if you don’t constantly improve yourself.
The importance that you give to privacy interferes with your goal.
Recognize that you can appear self-centered.
How Others Can Support You In Your Goal?
Appreciate your ability to be self-sufficient and independent.
Appreciate your willingness to live and let live.
But also encourage you to be more social and loving.
Homework:
Pick a goal to focus on expressing joy in other life experiences besides learning or pursuing deeper connections with people.
Enlist others to support and encourage you in this goal that are safe people.
Remember you’re loved whether you grow or not.
In the next episode, we’re tackling our final human need––Contribution and not just talking about giving to charity.
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