Podcast Episode 155 - How your unconscious motivation took over the wheel of your behavior and how to take back control
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Have you ever done something and thought, “why did I do that?”
Do you struggle to understand others, and maybe yourself, at times?
Today is for you if…
If you’d like to avoid those “what was I thinking moments?!”
If you desire to become your best self.
Our motivation is the reason we act or behave a particular way.
What is an Unconscious Motivation?
Our unconscious motivations, then, are the motivations that drive us, and we’re not aware of them.
It’s us responding to our deepest concerns, and it’s one of the ways we adapt and stay safe in the world.
Type 1 - Strict Perfectionist (or Improver)
Need to protect self, others and the world; to be right and avoid fault or blame.
Type 2 - Considerate Helper
The need to be liked and meet the needs of others is their strategy to secure appreciation and love.
Type 3 - Competitive Achiever
Need to succeed, to appear successful and avoid failure
Type 4 - Intense Creative
Need to be seen, belong and recover wholeness.
They believe they can only recover and compensate for their missing piece by projecting an image that highlights how special and different they are from everyone else.
Type 5 - Quiet Specialist (or Investigator)
The need to know and understand everything.
Type 6 - Loyal Sceptic
Need to feel safe, secure and supported.
Type 7 - Enthusiastic Visionary
Avoid experiencing unpleasant, psychologically or emotionally painful or distressing feelings.
Type 8 - Active Controller
Deny and mask weakness and vulnerability; assert strength.
Type 9 - Adaptive Peacemaker
Need to connect with others, keep the inner and outer peace or harmony, avoid conflict at all costs
Why change our unconscious motivation?
It’s like our unconscious motivation took over while we’ve been asleep at the steering wheel.
We’ve got to wake up so we can take our control back.
When you develop yourself, you change your world.
So what do you do with this unconscious motivation?
EMCA tool to help develop yourself.
1. Example
Think of a time when you had a negative action or reaction.
Examples of negative actions/reactions:
Fight with your spouse
Late for work
Blew up at your kids
Struggled to step into something new
Felt inadequate or fell into serious comparison mode
Start and stop your goals
2. Motivation
What motivated this behavior, or what were your intentions?
This is you uncovering your unconscious motivation at work.
3. Consequence
We need to see how our unconscious motivation affects us and others.
What were the results of acting that way? Good? Bad?
How is this behavior working for you?
Is it helping you become your best self and fulfill your God-given purpose?
Or does it hinder you in your goals and hurt your relationships?
4. Alternative
What alternative behaviors would have supported your intentions better?
Or what could you have done that would have led to better results?
When you walk yourself through this process, it brings your unconscious motivation to light.
When we’re conscious of why we do what we do, that’s when we can make changes.
When we develop ourselves, we change our world.
Do you need a safe place you can develop yourself?
A place where you can learn (and practice) to uncover your unconscious motivations and wake up so you can take the steering wheel back.
Courageous Club is a safe place to stop hiding, show up fully yourself and fulfill your God-given purpose. Check out all the details at Courageous.club.